TELL, 2007/08

She: I can’t stand this music.
He: Shall I turn it off?
She: –
(He tries to find another station)
She: No. I don’t like it.
(He keeps trying)
She: No! Please. Turn it off.
He: (He turns it off. After a while:) Do you have the
list?
She: I really do not like lists. Either you have the
things in your head or you improvise.
He: It’s definitely better with a list. It’s quicker and I
don’t want to spend too much time in the store.

(break)

He: Does it take long?
She: Don’t push me, please. Take your time.

(break)

She: Wow, it’s so funny to see Bunny with his new
face. I couldn’t believe when he told me what he
was going to do. Did you see him this week?
He: I was told he was out – didn’t meet him. Ooooh
I don’t feel good. The sandwich I ate was maybe
too much.
She: You ate two. I told you.
He: Yeah, I know.
She: You know what Marchia told me about this
sandwich?
He: No idea.
She: She said that she has heard if you eat a sandwich
and you have it in your hand and you look at it
when you are going to bite in it, that this is a really
scary moment. Because you see the sandwich –


and the sandwich is looking at you – but you can
not be sure that it is what you see. It could also be
something like a frog or a toe.
He: What toe? Arrgh!
She: I don’t know, maybe the toe of your grandmother.
He: Oh that is so gross. I already feel like I have to
throw up.
She: No really. She said that she heard about it on
TV. I like it. It’s so funny in a way (dirty giggle). It’s
like if you fuck someone and then maybe he is a
banana milkshake. You look at him and then you
see it’s a banana shake – oh my God it is not him!
He: That’s totally ridiculous, why a banana shake?
She: Well, there is a very strong reason. Scientists
realized years ago that the genetic code of a
banana is 50% the same as our genetic code, and
that would mean that we are half bananas.
He: Wow, that really explains why so many people
love to eat bananas.
She: (Giggling) Oh man, it’s great. Can you imagine?
Eating a banana means you’re eating half of
another person.
He: Now really, Steph, you are completely fucked
up.
She: No, I think it is absolutely important to be
open to other ideas. It seems to me that this story
about the sandwich is in a way pretty close to the
banana story.
He: No it’s not. It’s your weird ideas.
She: No. they spoke about an unstable reality, that
everything is possible and whether you like it or not
your sandwich might be something else.
He: Oh stop it, please. I don’t want to bite in the toe
of my grandmother.
She: And what if we are the sandwich and the


sandwich is us (laughs)? That would mean that I
am the toe of your grandmother (laughs again).
He: Really Steph, you are so bizarre today.
She. No, I am just realistic – and reality is always
concrete.
He: No. It’s coincidence what you bite into. Coincidence
or luck or bad luck.
She: Yeah, yeah. Like how lucky my cat is that he
has two holes in his fur exactly there where its eyes
are.
He: I think we should buy some kitty treats for your
cat.
She: How great if the cat would have the holes in
other parts.
He: What about the hole in the ass?
She: Don’t be so banal.
He: You really have the power to confuse me with
your sandwich and banana stories. This makes me
feel weak and it makes me feel old.
She: Oh please – you’re loosing intensity. If you are
going to go on like this, you will melt and become
liquid. The essence of liquid is stronger than a solid
state. It’s also the same with the ideas. They fight
continuously against each other, which creates
without interruptions new interfaces. The strongest
are the liquid ones – they will redeem you. It seems
to me that your dick and your ideas have something
in common.
He: Yes, they are great. Honestly, you make me
sick. You and Marchia seem to live in the same
consistency, in your own reality – together with
your dog.
She: And with my grandmother. So we have a collective
reality.
He: Or it’s maybe just a collective fiction.
She: Oh darling, I know you’re not at all frustrated


and you’re not a milkshake or a banana and your
reality is reasonable because it arranges your life
and you have no doubts. But reality is the invention
of liars. The reality of the truth is the collective
stupidity – because truth doesn’t exist. We make it.
That’s it. It’s so simple.
He: Yeah, yeah. I understand. You believe only in
yourself.
She: Like the banana shake. It doesn’t question
beliefs. Morality against integrity. Morality is for
assholes. The one who asks moral questions consequently
has to be immoral, and this is what I call
integrity. And that means that the milkshake also
doesn’t ask questions about immorality.
He: I am not sure if your grandmother’s toe has
that much integrity.
She: Oh yes. Reality is so beautiful. If you can
afford it. Everything that happens happens with
absolute necessity.
He: You want to tell me if I get the flu or if I get
shot in the knee or if I get diarrhoea, that this is an
absolute necessity, Steph? Why would that be? To
be nice to me or to make me happy? Okay, it’s like
we send this guy some lues (tripper) just to make
him feel really good? Are you sure we are going the
right way?
She: I don’t know. I don’t care. C’mon … I really
think we need something like … I don’t know …
a society where everything happens at the same
time gets schizophrenic. And wow, it goes on … I
know now … I believe in things in which I have no
idea – which I know nothing about …

(break)

I mean, think about the awesome possibilities of
reincarnation. I know nothing about it, but it seems
so logical. Can you imagine? We come back as a
genius or as an iPod?
He: No, Steph. No iPod. It wouldn’t work. Because
I believe that only biological systems are possible
portals to come back or to get in again.
She: Well … then image how great it would be to
come back as … as Cate Blanchett! Or as Theresa
– Mother Theresa. Maybe not. But for sure, Paris
Hilton!
He: No, no, no. Keith Richard. But the young one!
She: Pervert.
He: Or as Rocko.
She: Hillary Clinton!
He: But Steph … (concerned:) We should make
sure not to come back as us.
She: Definitely.
He: Nor as my father.
She: (giggles) Or as your grandmother’s toe.
He: Or as a banana.



TELL, 2007/08

 ERWIN WURM

*1954 Bruck / Mur, Österreich
Lebt in Wien und New York

LEHNBACHHAUS - KUNSTBAU - MÜNCHEN 2009 / 2010












© Erwin Wurm
© 2009 Lenbachhaus, München. Alle Rechte an der fotografischen Bildvorlage vorbehalten






ERWIN WURM

*1954 Bruck / Mur, Österreich
Lebt in Wien und New York

LEHNBACHHAUS - KUNSTBAU - MÜNCHEN 2009 / 2010












© Erwin Wurm
© 2009 Lenbachhaus, München. Alle Rechte an der fotografischen Bildvorlage vorbehalten